Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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