Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
