So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
