i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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