dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
