apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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