Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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