careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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