Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
