Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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