Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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