im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
