Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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