Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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