Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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