What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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