Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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