kristin has been a bad kristin
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
