if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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