So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
