ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
