weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize