Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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