Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
