And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
