I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
