haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
