1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
