Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize