new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
