hell yes lets make some ravioli
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
