Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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