Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
