I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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