Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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