the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
