his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
