My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
