Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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