Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I will pee on everything he values.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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