I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
