he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
