i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
