Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
