There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
