please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize