Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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