fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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