I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
