Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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