Already got asked if we're dating
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
