We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
