We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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