I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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