After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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