it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
